Please Ignore Me; Why I Wanted Safe Invisibility
(There’s a cute outfit under that sweatshirt…allegedly…)
One big thing I learned in the midst of my wardrobe liposuction was that my clothing of choice was especially good for hiding. Even the things I considered sexy and a bit more risque were still pretty tame. It was all very hot librarian and occasionally like I had stumbled back into my high school uniform. Not very grown and sexy at all. I felt cute and was all stuff that I considered stylish but not exactly tailored for my body type. Like I said before most of the clothing in my closet was on the conservative side and designed to mostly hide my body. I wanted to fly under the radar. I wanted invisibility. And I needed to figure out why. What was my mental process? Why were these things my go-to?
First off I come from a pretty conservatively dressed family.
(Cute but definitely low-key. And that was my party…)
Functionality and how long a piece of clothing would last were key. I’d also catch a lot of crap and a lovely side of shaming whenever I snuck in a crop top, short skirt, or low neckline. The idea that my body was a temptation for men and needed to be hidden was definitely reinforced. Hell I even saw it for myself. There have been times before now when I’ve found the perfect outfit, something that fit, flattered, and made me feel beautiful and powerful but also turned perfectly nice guys who I thought were my friends into complete scoundrels. On top of that I’m not immediately comfortable around strangers and I absolutely despise being touched without my permission. I felt responsible for the actions of anyone I had inadvertently enticed. Especially if I had done it on purpose by wearing something (suited to my figure) sexy. Cute slips under the radar just about every time. And it was easier to cover up than to listen to the loving chastisement of my family and the invasive encouragement from strangers.
With this reinvention I’m shifting my thinking. The attention will come regardless because I am a woman and because I’m beautiful. But, and here’s the best part, I don’t have to be nice to or even respond to everyone who thinks I’m pretty.
Will that make some people think I’m a bitch? Sure.
Does that actually make me a bitch? No, it makes me human.
Being away from my family helps too because I don’t have to pass inspection before I leave the house.
With this post, all of this conditioning is now being phased out. I am a beautiful woman with an amazing figure. I love seeing myself in clothes that flatter me.
So that’s what I’m going to wear.
What taught you to dress the way you do? Is it the best for you or are you hiding too?